TGIF!!

​It is finally Friday, and I am on cloud nine. Several really good things happened today, all completely unrelated to each other, but I swear when God does something versus when we try to force things ourselves, He does it so much bigger than we ever could. It never stops amazing me how He finds ways to ease our minds and remind us that we are His kids and He loves us. So yeah, I have had a GREAT day.

I got some really good news about something financial. I got some really exciting news involving my art. And I got good news from some medical testing and screenings I have had hanging over my head. None of the medical stuff was because anyone thought something was terribly wrong. It was just bloodwork, additional testing my doctor wanted to do, breast screening, and my colon cancer screening. But if you have anxiety, you know how that goes. Something does not necessarily have to be wrong for your brain to decide it might be, and until you get that little notification saying everything looks good, it sits back there in your mind. Getting those results before the weekend felt like such a gift.

I chose to do the at-home Cologuard screening because I really did not want to have a colonoscopy unless I actually needed one, and my doctor was comfortable with that option for me. And guys, without being too graphic, it was ridiculously easy. You collect the sample at home, send it off, and that is basically it. No prep. No spending the evening chained to the bathroom drinking something horrible. Done. The only thing that made me nervous was knowing that an abnormal screening result can still mean you need a colonoscopy afterward, and there can be reasons for an abnormal result other than cancer. So naturally my anxious little brain was already preparing itself for twelve imaginary disasters that had not happened. But that is done, and I am very, very grateful.

The financial thing was another situation I have been trying to get handled involving old family insurance matters from my dad and proving that I am the legal heir. If you have ever dealt with anything like that, you already know what a gigantic pain in the ass it can be. Signatures, notaries, paperwork, mailing things, more paperwork, and finding out one tiny thing is wrong and worrying you are going to have to start all over again. And notaries are not free. Ten dollars here, ten dollars there, and suddenly you have spent a hundred bucks just signing your own damn name in front of somebody. But that is finally handled too.

The art news is something I will talk about later because it involves something local I have been trying to do, and it is not happening immediately. I have plenty of time to tell that story when everything is a little further along. But by about 10:00 this morning, it was basically BAM, BAM, BAM. Good news, good news, good news. And suddenly I realized I did not have to carry any of these things into the weekend with me. I cannot even explain how good that felt.

This week also reminded me of something I really needed to be reminded of. When real things are happening in your life, things involving your family, finances, health, faith, and future, all the stupid stuff gets very small very quickly. Internet drama. People trying to get attention. People trying to provoke you. People you do not even genuinely care about taking up space in your head for absolutely no good reason. None of it matters.

When something serious is happening in your life, you are not thinking about those people. And I promise you, if something serious were happening in theirs, they would not be thinking about you either. So why waste perfectly good ordinary days giving that nonsense your energy? Let people be stupid. Let them instigate. Let them desperately search for reactions. Let them ruin their own lives if that is what they want to do. Who cares? Your life is happening right now, and mine is too.

The last week or so has actually been really bittersweet because I have definitely felt stressed about some of these things. But my attention has been where it belongs. On my finances. My family. My faith. My health. My art. The things that actually make up my real life. And even though some of those things made me uncomfortable while I waited for answers, maybe discomfort is not always a bad thing. Sometimes it shakes us awake. Sometimes it reminds us what deserves our attention.

Fear is different. Fear can take over everything if we let it. And Scripture tells us over and over again not to live there, but to bring those fears to God instead. That is something I have been working very hard on lately. As I lose weight and work on becoming physically healthier, I want my mental health to get stronger right along with it. I do not want to spend my life borrowing trouble from tomorrow or giving precious energy to things and people that mean absolutely nothing to me.

This week I really tried to hand those fears over to God, focus on what was actually in front of me, and trust Him with the things I could not control. And today, before I had even really gotten my morning started, three different worries were answered. Bam. Bam. Bam.

God is so good. That is really all I have to say.

Love you, Jesus. Thank you, God. And happy Friday